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If you visit any of the fine drinking establishments that line the Uncanny Highway of U.S. Route 28, you are guaranteed to encounter a man with a story to tell. Buy him another drink, and listen as he enlightens you.

The following tables assume the same 1960s and 1970s time frame as the other entries in the “Uncanny Highway” series. Naturally, many would also make good subjects for Country & Western songs!

(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy man says:

1

d6

My wife ran off with….

1

my best friend.

2

my own brother.

3

some college kid.

4

that guy who was working on our house.

5

a biker.

6

another woman.

2

d6

My dog was killed by…

1

a speeding big-rig. I didn’t get a look at the guy. Come to think of it, I don’t remember even seeing a driver at all.

2

my own wife. After she came back from that trip, he was growling at her all the time, and wouldn’t let her pet him any more.

3

my no-good neighbor, because my ol’ boy was digging up something in the yard.

4

some wild animal. I don’t know what it was exactly, but it sure was big!

5

frickin’ Satanists. They’re everywhere around here.

6

space aliens. They cut out his eyes and drained all his blood!

3

d6

My best friend…

1

is apparently banging my wife. I think I’m gonna do something about it – after I get good and liquored up!

2

turned out to be “one of them”. You know what I mean.

3

ratted on me to the IRS. I found those gold coins buried with that skeleton on my property, so I own them, fair and square.

4

just married some foreign chick who’s apparently “allergic to sunlight”.

5

is a cop, so I can get away with anything.

6

told me about some money supposedly stashed in an abandoned house.

4

d6

I’m waiting to be arrested, ‘cause I just killed…

1

my cheating wife.

2

that bastard that’s been banging my wife.

3

my cheating wife and her bastard lover.

4

my own brother.

5

the man they sent to kill me.

6

the sheriff.

5

d6

I lost all my money…

1

in Los Vegas.

2

to my wife in the divorce.

3

to that bastard I used to be in business with.

4

to the goddamn IRS.

5

playing the ponies.

6

on a bad real estate deal.

6

d6

I lost my job because

1

some weird illegal immigrants took it. Funny thing is, I can’t even figure out what country they’re supposed to be from. They don’t speak any language I ever heard of.

2

of stupid Government regulations. We had to stop digging on that hill, but they wouldn’t tell us why.

3

someone made completely false allegations against me. I never met any of those women.

4

the boss’ wife thinks I “look like a criminal”.

5

the place got burned down. I think the boss did it for the insurance money.

6

my boss didn’t actually have any licenses or permits for what we were doing. Now, I can’t even find the bastard.

7

d6

I just made some easy money…

1

at the track.

2

burying some sacks for a guy. I didn’t ask what was inside, but they smelled really bad.

3

pouring a concrete floor for some guy who needed it done fast.

4

selling my camera and the pictures inside to a guy dressed in a black suit and sunglasses.

5

moving furniture in the middle of the night.

6

soundproofing a guy’s basement, and installing metal rings on the walls. He paid me much more than the job really costs. He also wanted a stain resistant floor that would be easy to mop up, but I don’t do floors.

8

d6

I just saw….

1

a ghost!

2

Bigfoot!

3

a U.F.O.!

3

Jesus!

4

the Devil!

5

a freakin’ tiger roaming the woods!

6

what a Federal agent look like without it’s human disguise!

9

d6

I don’t trust The Government, because…

1

I saw them packing dope in the body bags when I was in ‘Nam

2

the FBI just arrested my brother, who had nothing to do with those girls disappearing.

3

I’ve actually been aboard a U.F.O., and met the aliens. They look like you and me, but with big black eyes. You know, I could take you to meet them.

4

my pastor told me about all the Commies, International Bankers, and Radical Feminists that have infiltrated Congress.

5

when I was a cop they actually tried to recruit me into the Satanic coven that runs Washington D.C.

6

my friend whose a doctor told me the fluoride they put in the water is actually a Soviet plot to make Americans too weak to resist a takeover.

10

d6

I found Jesus…

1

in prison. That’s when I got this here tattoo.

2

on the battlefield. Let me show you my scars.

3

in the midst of my divorce. The Lord told me he would take her back home to Heaven, and he did!

4

after my wife got murdered. They never did find out who did it, and I doubt they ever will.

5

when I was getting off junk. After the bugs stopped crawling under my skin, I saw The Lord clear as day.

6

while I was banging a hooker. I think she still works the truck-stop nearby.

11

d6

I bet you…

1

can’t tell what I’ve got hidden in my shirt. Go on, guess!

2

don’t know why I’ve got this here silver bullet.

3

can’t beat me at arm-wrestling.

4

can’t guess what I’ve got in my car. It’s a doozy!

5

don’t know why that guy over there is staring at us.

6

want to know about the weird crap that’s been going on.

12

d6

I’m leaving this town, because

1

I found a good job driving delivery trucks from town to town. I could set you up too, if you can keep your mouth shut.

2

I got myself a “mail-order bride”. I swear she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve even seen. Thing is, she was raised in some weird religion that won’t let her eat salt, or have any iron in the house.

3

of all the weird murders.

4

There’s some guy who looks just like me doing some messed-up stuff, and the cops have got it in for me.

5

I know what what’s really going on with all the new construction around the old military base.

6

I just know something really bad is about to happen.