The Five Peoples of Panzoasia, Part V: Humans

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B/X, BECMI, BX, Classic Fantasy, Classic Rules, old school, old school renaissance, old school revival, RC, Romantic Fantasy, Weird Fantasy

About Humanity in Panzoasia

As Dwarves are known as the “People of the Caves”, Elves are the “People of the Forest”, Gnomes are the “People of the Hills”, and Halflings are the “People of the Fields”, so the Humans of Panzoasia are considered the “People of the Sea and Stars”. Before the Invasions, all the large city-states above ground were located on rivers or shorelines, and inhabited by Humans. During the Reign of the Monsters, the Humans who lived in those cities took to the seas in great arks, living there for two generations. Some Humans still live a nomadic, sea-based life. These “Sea Folk” are allied with the Saganic Undines of the ocean – and sometimes even intermarry with them!

Humans dominate the national governments of all but two realms of the Ultimate West – Bythebia and Auddisland. In Bythebia, the interests of the Human population are represented before the Senate of Gold Dragons by a popularly elected Tribune. In Auddisland, a semi-hereditary Voivode (elected by the resident Human nobility) advocates for the Human population before the Dwarven King, and governs the northeastern region (which is majority Human).

The Appearance of Panzoasian Humans

Humans native to the Ultimate West usually have pale to olive complexions. Their hair can be blond, brown, black, or red, and their eyes can be brown, blue, green, gray or hazel. In the Ultimate North, Humans tend to have pale complexions, with light hair and eyes. Humans of the Ultimate South usually have complexions ranging from very dark brown to tan, with eyes and hair that tend towards dark colors. In the Ultimate East, Humans tend to have complexions that range from pale amber to deep tan, also with a tendency to dark eyes and hair. Many in the Ultimate East have uncreased, almond-shaped eyes (especially in Amikura, Hian, and Xidu), as do some in the Ultimate South (especially in Tezaca). Because they are all one People and freely immigrate, however, Humans from any region of Panzoasia can actually have any possible skin tone, eye color, and hair color. There are dark-skinned Fjaldarheimers, as well as some Tezacans with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Distinctive Characteristics of Human Culture in Panzoasia

Because the Invasions killed off many male warriors and leaders, the Human societies of Panzoasia are more egalitarian and inclusive than similar societies were on our Earth. No human society of Panzoasia currently practices slavery, although many did before the Reign of the Monsters.

Humans tend to glorify Elves (despite the fact that Humans had actually achieved a much higher level of technological advancement before the Reign of the Monsters). Having an Elven lover or spouse is regarded as a status symbol. Adopting Elven clothing, make-up, jewelry, and manners is considered high class – or pretentious, depending on the social setting. Wealthy Human children are often taught to speak Elven – albeit in a manner that native Elven speakers find archaic and stilted. Elves, for their part, generally find Humans interesting and attractive – and are especially fascinated by the way Human men and women can look so different from each other. Most Humans have at least one Elf somewhere in their family tree – and most “pure” Elves have at least one Human in theirs!

In modern times, most Human cultures consider burial at sea (or on an island in the sea) to be the most desirable. Burial in the ground on the mainland is definitely less prestigious. In the Ultimate West, those of Good Alignment considered it an especial honor if the boat that carries their corpse to its final watery destination sets off from the Sacred Isle of Albelon. The corpses of wealthy and important people are often embalmed where they died, and then shipped to Albelon.

Every Human culture enjoys ball games, board games, dice games, and card games. Humans are also known for their especial love of gambling and betting. Every Human culture endows their games with spiritual and philosophical significance – but also employs them as means to gamble. In the Ultimate West, the most common ball games somewhat resemble Field Hockey and Gaelic Football from our Earth; the common board games are essentially Backgammon, Checkers (Draughts), and Chess (with many local variations); the most common dice game closely resembles Craps; and the most common card game uses a pack that is oddly similar to the Tarot.

Humans keep a wide range of animals as pets. The close relationship between Humans and dogs is particularly noteworthy, approaching the level of affection the exists between Gnomes and burrowing mammals. Most dogs (other than Elven Dogs) will seek out Humans for companionship, in preference to any of the other Peoples. Additionally, only Humans among all the Five Peoples keep fish (and other aquatic life) as pets.

Throughout Panzoasia, Humans completely dominate the maritime trades (including sailing and fishing) and every other trade that requires long-distance travel – especially the spice trade. They also do most construction above-ground, as well as most large-scale agriculture. Humans are the primary practitioners of astrology. Humans invented glass, and human-made glass is prized particularly by Elves (who often trade it in turn to the Saganic Sylphs) and Gnomes (who employ it for lenses).

Alignment and Religion Among Panzoasian Humans

Before the Monsters invaded the lands of the Five Peoples, those Human societies who did not build cities worshiped at the Stone Circles which still stand in many places. Most of these Stone Circles had been sacred to the Neutral Powers of Life. In modern times, however, adherence to other Alignments – and worship of the corresponding Divine Powers (especially those of Destiny and Light) – is prevalent. Most of the ancient Stone Circles now stand abandoned, with only a few still being active religious sites.

The original Depradators were all Human. The humanoid Bogeymen – Goblins, Orcs, Gnolls and the like – actually tended to be Neutral in Alignment before the Depradator evangelists spread the worship of Darkness to them. In fact, the Reign of the Monsters was also the reign of the Evil Human Depradators – a fact that the Dwarves, Elves, Gnomes, and Halflings do not forget.

While there is much social pressure in modern Human societies to profess allegiance to either Good or Law, in actuality the Good, Lawful, Chaotic, and Neutral Alignments are about equally represented among them. Unfortunately, a full 5% of Humans are Evil – the highest rate among any of the Five Peoples.

The Human Languages of Panzoasia

While all the Humans across a particular Region of Panzoasia (West, South, East, or North) may share a common language, each nation within that Region also has its own distinctive dialect (and accent). For example, the dialects of Human Common in both Corthis and Maeland are heavily influenced by Elven – and both the place and personal names in those countries are often Elven in origin. To a traveler from our Earth, the basic vocabulary of Western Common otherwise suggests a combination of Latin, Greek, Welsh, and German. Southern Common’s vocabulary seems to somewhat resemble a strange mix of Swahili and Nahuatl. The vocabulary of Eastern Common is oddly evocative of a mixture of Sanskrit and Mandarin Chinese. Northern Common’s vocabulary mildly suggests a mixture of Swedish and Russian words. The non-Human Peoples of Panzoasia also use the regional varieties of Human Common as trade languages.

Each of the four Common languages of Humanity uses a different writing system. Western Common is written in the same alphabet as Western Gnomish. Southern and Eastern Common shares pictograms with the corresponding varieties of Elven, and the runes of Northern Common are identical to those used by Northern Dwarves.

The Five Peoples of Panzoasia, Part IV: Halflings

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B/X, BECMI, BX, Classic Fantasy, Classic Rules, old school, old school renaissance, old school revival, RC, Romantic Fantasy, Weird Fantasy

A Gnome-kin Halfling Woman of the Ultimate West.

About the Halflings (or “Humblekin”) of Panzoasia

Halflings (or “Humblekin”, as they call themselves) tend to have the same skin, eye, and hair colors as the majority of the local Human population. Whether they have dark or light skin, however, their complexions tend to be ruddy. A Halfling’s facial features are generally  proportioned very much like those of a young Human – with large eyes, a short face, and a high forehead. They tend to have dimples, and short, “button” noses. Most male Halflings can grow long sideburns, but no other facial hair. The noses of older males with pale complexions also tend to be distinctly reddish.

Halflings often dress in patchwork versions of the local costume – and may take pride in remembering how they obtained each individual scrap of their outfit. Once, Halflings made patchwork because of their poverty, but nowadays they wear their patches as a symbol of their People’s resourcefulness. Halflings of the Ultimate West are particularly fond of tartan and cheque patterns, and keep their pants and skirts up with suspenders, not belts. Halflings are also known for their distinctive hairstyles, with exaggeratedly large curls held in place with pomade. Some dye their hair pure hues of yellow, red, green, or blue. They often make jewelry out of old coins, or small objects discarded by Humans, Dwarves, Elves or Gnomes.

There are four Halflings “Kins”, each of which had associated with a different People before the Invasions. The Man-kins (or “Robins”) have a noted preference for patches (or patterns) in various shades of a single color, and always live in above-ground houses. The slender Elf-kins (or “Huldurfolk”) have pointed ears, prefer clothing of many colors, and traditionally live in the same manner as Elves. The dexterous Gnome-kins (or “Dobs”) have hairy feet, and traditionally live inside artificial earthen mounds. The stout Dwarf-kins (or “Knockers”) have attached earlobes, traditionally live in mines underground, and are the only Halfling Kin whose men can grow mustaches. Gnome-kins and Dwarf-kins do not commonly wear shoes, but Man-kins and Elf-kins do.

Halflings do not have their own languages, but speak the tongues of the other People associated with their Kin. Halfling dialects are full of unique slang, however, and may be nearly incomprehensible to the speakers of the regular language.

Halflings love to sing, often mocking the pretensions and failures of their enemies (and even friends) through improvised lyrics. These songs frequently include strings of nonsense words. Other songs are often sad laments for the oppression, disrespect, and tragedy that Halflings have historically suffered – covering such topics as being abducted and forced to work in a Orcish factory, having your husband-to-be run off with a Elf woman who will grow tired of him in just a week, or being stuck in a collapsed coal mine and realizing that your Dwarven employers only care about saving their own kind.

Halflings of every type traditionally use cairns as markers and memorials, but most of the ancient cairns were vandalized and destroyed during the Reign of the Monsters. Halflings prefer to bury their dead directly in the ground, with the grave marked only by a cairn. It is still traditional for newly married couples to build a cairn together on the day after their wedding. While ancient ones were made exclusively of stones, modern cairns can incorporate any items that are important the Halflings the build them (or the people they memorialize).

During the Reign of the Monsters, those Halflings who were separated from the Human, Elven, Gnomish, or Dwarven communities they once served survived by hiding in underbrush, lurking in ruins, and otherwise living at the margins. There the Halflings became adept at scavenging, and re-purposing objects discarded by others. Other Peoples notice that their Halfling friends never throw anything away. They will even incorporate found objects into the construction of their homes.

A male Man-kin Halfling of the Ultimate West.

Humans and Elves have a tendency to call all Halfling men “Bill”, and all Halfling women “Cutie” – regardless of their actual names. While these Humans and Elves may think they are being affectionate and endearing, most Halflings actually regard the practice as patronizing and insulting. Increasing, younger Halflings are standing and up and demanding that the “Bigs” refer to them by their real names.

Halfings ride ponies, and keep small cattle, sheep, and goats half the size of those raised by humans. Halflings love milk, cheese, and butter, and their dairy livestock are extremely important to them. Very small dogs are most popular pets among the Humblekin.

About half of the Humblekin are Good in Alignment, and they are among the most fervent devotees of the Lord and Lady of Light. Their worship is notable for its many choral hymns of praise. Many older Halflings are Lawful, but younger Halflings are increasingly embracing Chaos to rebel against their history of subservience to the other four Peoples. Chaotic Halflings often sport spiky hairstyles, or shave the sides of their head and stiffen the remaining strip of hair to stand on end. Less than 1% of Halflings are actually Evil; they often lurk near burial grounds, robbing graves and waylaying visitors.

Halfling communities of the Ultimate West are traditionally governed by a Sheriff or Headman, who is nowadays elected, but historically had been appointed by the leader of other People with whom the Halflings live. Despite being otherwise generally Good in nature, Halflings seem to express their resentment for their historical exploitation by electing Sheriffs and Headmen who make a point of being aggressively obnoxious towards non-Halflings.

In mixed communities, the predominant trades of Halflings will be weaving, herbalism, the growing of high-quality produce, distilling, beekeeping, and the making of candy. They take also pride in succeeding at hard and dirty jobs nobody else wants, such as cloth dying, cleaning, charcoal burning, and trash reclamation.

The Five Peoples of Panzoasia, Part III: Gnomes

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About the Gnomes of Panzoasia

Gnomes from every part of Panzoasia tend to have deeply tanned complexions, with blue, green, or gray eyes. Male Gnomes have gray or white hair from birth, while Gnomish women (or Gnomides) have the same range of hair colors possible for Humans. Gnomes of both sexes stand about 3 feet in height. Male Gnomes typically have pot bellies, while female Gnomes tend to be pleasingly zaftig. A Gnome’s face is generally roundish, with the eyes, ears, and nose much larger in proportion than those of a human. Their lips are full and expressive, while their eyes are wide and round.

A Gnome considers their hat to be the most important article of clothing. A Gnomish hat can range from fanciful to bizarre in design – and can be almost as tall as its wearer! It is common for a Gnome to place objects under, or in, their hat. Gnomish hats of a practical nature include the large pincushions and baskets worn as headgear by many female Gnomes at home, and the Lantern Hat often worn by Gnomish adventurers. Gnomes considers themselves “exposed” if their heads are uncovered – and removing one’s hat is an expression of the strongest emotion. Although stereotypically associated with Gnomes, pointed hats without brims haven’t been fashionable since before the Reign of the Monsters.

Beyond their outrageous hats, Gnomes tend to dress in the most colorful and whimsical version of the local clothing. As footwear they prefer clogs, which are often fancifully decorated. Gnomes are also noted for their love of striped patterns. Among Gnome of the Ultimate West, formal wear always includes tassels and small bells sewn into the garments.

The Gnomish sense of humor is legendary, and they tend to make jokes even on serious occasions – particularly funerals. Unfortunately, since Gnomes are also more prone to actual insanity than any other People, it can be hard to discern whether a Gnomes strange behavior should be cause for laughter, or genuine concern. Among Gnomes, it is said that one must sometimes act crazy, to avoid going crazy.

Before the Invasions, the Gnomish people built and lived inside artificial earth mounds called Hollow Hills, or Tumuli. After the Invasions, they survived by hiding their homes behind magical illusions. They burrowed deeper, and formed a close alliance with the Saganic Gnomes of the Chthon. Traditionalist Gnomes continue to live inside Hollow Hills, but in modern times those places are far more open to the larger world.

Despite the small stature of the inhabitants within, the burrows inside a Hollow Hill are always at least 6 feet to the ceiling. While Gnomes say that it is so even Humans feel welcome, the actual reason is to accommodate the tallest possible hats!

A respected Gnome is buried directly within the ground inside a barrow, without a coffin, and never with any valuable objects. A wicked Gnome, however, will be buried in an elaborate “dungeon” filled with tricks and puzzles intend to entertain their restless minds, and treasures to sate their undying greed. The tunnels will feature elaborate death-traps to keep out tomb robbers. When Gnomish engineers started to be employed by human wizards to create subterranean treasure vaults, they naturally relied upon such tombs as models.

About 60% of Gnomes are Good, and approximately 30% are Neutral. Lawful and Chaotic Gnomes represent just under 5% of the population each. Only about 1% of Gnomes are truly Evil.

Gnomes of the Ultimate West love fruitcake (which they sometimes call call “gemcake”) above all other foods. They regard it as the symbol of a life well-lived – enduring, very sweet, a little boozy, a little nutty, and filled with jewels! Western Gnomes will even bake fruitcakes in the shape of hats, periodically breaking off pieces for the occasional snack.

The favorite pastimes of Gnomes across Panzoasia are various forms of bowling, and other lawn sports.

Gnomes employ a special breed of four-horned sheep as their primary mounts and beasts of burden. Rabbits, ground squirrels, mice, badgers, and hedgehogs are the most popular animal companions among Gnomes, and such animals will roam freely within the burrows of every Hollow Hill. Cats, however, are generally hated and despised by Gnomes.

To a traveler from our Earth, the Western Gnomish language sounds vaguely like Dutch; Southern Gnomish seems to somewhat resemble ancient Aramaic; Eastern Gnomish is oddly evocative of Malay; and Northern Gnomish mildly suggests Finnish. Gnomes from one End of the Earth often have names typical of another, however. Each Gnomish language is written with its own alphabet.

Gnomish communities have always been governed democratically. A Traditional Hollow Hill is led by an elected Mayor, advised by a council of Elders. Traditionally, several Hollow Hills would be joined together in a “Commonwealth” headed by an elected Chancellor. Nowadays, in countries other than Auddisland, Chancellor is just a ceremonial position – and Hollow Hills function like any other communities within their respective nations.

Wherever they dwell with other Peoples, Gnomes predominate in the intellectual trades. They often become bureaucrats, sages, jewelers, bankers, engineers, local merchants, and toymakers. As everyone knows, the best gemcutters are Gnomish, but it is the hatter who holds a special place of honor among their tradesmen.

The Five Peoples of Panzoasia, Part II: Elves

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About the Elves of Panzoasia

An Elf’s hair, skin, and eyes can be any shade of any hue – including pink, purple, green, and blue. Elves of the Ultimate West, however, tend towards either pastel shades or Human-like tones in their skin colors – while those of the Ultimate East often have skin that is deep blue, green, or red. In the Ultimate North, the Elves often have skin and hair that is the palest blue, or even pure white, with deep blue or purple eyes. Elves of the Ultimate South tend towards dark reddish brown, deep amber, and golden hues in their skin tones – and can actually have hair that glitters like metallic gold!

Panzoasian Elves of either sex tend toward a slim, lithe build, and stand just over 5 feet tall. Both males and females are of the same height and general build. Elven women tend to have only slightly wider hips than males. Elven faces are androgynously attractive and usually heart-shaped, with high cheekbones and relatively large, almond-shaped eyes. Elves cannot grow beards. While the hair of most Elves is straight or only slightly wavy, very curly hair is sometimes seen on those from the Ultimate South. The ears of Panzoasian Elves resemble those of deer, and are similarly mobile. Elven ears are always in motion – pitching forward to express interest, sweeping back in anger, standing up in joy, or drooping in sorrow.

While Elves can live for a thousand years or more, they can only actually remember the last 30 years (or so) of their own life. A five-hundred year old Elf knows how old she is, and may be surrounded by mementos of her previous exploits, but cannot consciously recall what she did, or where she was, two hundred years ago. An Elf can even forget their own parents, siblings, or children. One of the best known Elven songs, “The Wheel of the Wind”, concerns a triad of Elven lovers whose life journeys cause them to constantly become separated and forget each other – only for the three of them to be repeatedly reunited so they can fall in love all over again.

Elves completely stop aging around the age of eighteen and don’t age any more until the last decade of their natural lives. A thousand-year-old Elf dying of extreme old age would have a face no more wrinkled than a Human of about thirty. With their ever-youthful bodies and short memories, Elves never experience the world-weariness or emotional trauma that can affect aged members of the other Peoples. Perhaps for that same reason, however, Elves are often dismissed as impulsive and emotionally volatile.

Traditionalist Elves tend to wear the most colorful, frivolous, and diaphanous version of the local costume, and prefer silk and lace as fabrics. They often wrap themselves in capes patterned after the wings of butterflies, moths, or dragonflies. In colder weather, the capes will be of fur, feathers, or velvet. Elves in every region of Panzaoasia love to decorate their faces with glued-on spangles of precious stones and metals, often wear body glitter, and like to wear feathers, ribbons, and insect wings in their hair. Elves feel completely free to dress in typically “masculine” or “feminine” manner as they desire – a male Elf is apt to wear a silken gown while lounging in his home, while a female Elf will often cut her hair into a short “pixie” style and don trousers when she goes off to adventure.

Before the Invasions, the Elves lived as semi-nomadic bands that frequently raided the other Peoples, and periodically retreated to the the vitrified forts which still lie in ruins atop hills across Panzoasia. Large geoglyphs were carved from the turf on the sides of those hills, in the shapes of people and animals. Sometimes the geoglyphs were actually the symbols for rude and insulting words in the local Elven language.

During the Reign of the Monsters, most of the surviving Elves fled to the woods and jungles, where they allied (and occasionally intermarried) with the Saganic Sylphs who dwell in the clouds. In the Ultimate West, the massive Zoswood Trees (or Beharbres) were hollowed out and turned into refuges. Some Elves, however, actually took the fight to the Underworld itself, and settled in the caverns they captured from their enemies. These lost Chthonic Elves are effectively a fifth division of the Elven People, but are almost never seen by surface dwellers.

All Elven cultures allow any number and combination of adults to be married to each other. Traditional Elven marriages last only a year, unless renewed. There is no expectation of monogamy, even among those who consider themselves married. Traditionally, Elven children are raised communally, and most never know the identity of their biological father. A Good-aligned or urban-dwelling Elf who who loves someone from another People will probably make an effort to conform to that person’s expectations about proper behavior in a relationship, but most other Elves will become indignant if told that they must remain faithful to single partner for more than a month.

Panzoasian Elves prefer to practice sky burial of their dead. A deceased Elf is places on a platform in the highest tree, (or else atop a tower or pole), and scavenging birds are allowed to devour them. The remaining bones are pulverized and scattered (a job traditionally done by Elf-kin Halflings). Elves value change and renewal, so fixed monuments naming the dead are considered to be in extreme bad taste.

The worship of the Lord and Lady of Light was completely unknown to the Elves of Panzoasia before the Reign of the Monsters. Now, however, many Elves are of Good Alignment – although most are still Neutral or Chaotic. Lawful Elves are social misfits who usually live away from others of their own kind. Only about 1% of surface-dwelling Elves are actually Evil. The Chthonic Elves of the Underworld, on the other hand, are rumored to be largely Evil – but that might just be a baseless slander.

Elves enjoy mushrooms and fungi of all sorts, both as food, and as sources of intoxicants. Elves can safely eat species of fungi that are lethal to other Peoples – even such deadly mushrooms as the Death Cap and Destroying Angel. They can also derive nourishment from tree leaves, and eat ferns that would be indigestible to others. Traditionalist Elves have no prejudices against consuming any kind of animal meat – and particularly relish insects such as grasshoppers, wood-grubs, cicadas, and caterpillars.

Fencing and archery are the the great Elven pastimes, but Elves also love to play variations of “Hide-and-Seek”. Also widely popular is a sport called “Nêbata” in the Western Elven language, generally similar to Lacrosse.

Elves prefer special breeds of deer, elk, and antelopes as mounts and beasts of burden. They have also domesticated the giant Zoswood Cicada as a flying mount. Sylvan Unicorns and Winged Unicorns will sometimes allow Good-Aligned Elves to ride them, and some Elves of the Ultimate North even ride polar bears into battle! Birds and foxes are popular pets, as is the green Elven Dog (or Cooshee). They especially love the phosphorescent Hercinia bird, whose glowing plumage illuminates many Elven communities.

To a traveler from our Earth, the Western Elven language sounds vaguely like a strange mixture of French and Irish; Southern Elven seems to somewhat resemble a combination of Yoruban and Taino; Eastern Elven is oddly evocative of Vietnamese; and Northern Elven mildly suggests Sami. All Elven languages are tonal, and those who lack perfect pitch can find them hard to understand or speak properly. Additionally, the vocabularies of Elven languages are very fluid, with new words constantly being invented, and old words changing meaning. Elves are apt to ridicule those who cannot pronounce their languages properly, or use outdated words. Each of the four known Elven languages is written with its own variety of pictograms.

A traditional Elven Commune is nominally led by an elected Princess (who can actually be of either biological sex), who chooses a Prince (of either biological sex) to be responsible for the security of the group. A group of Communes will collectively elect a Queen, who then selects a King to oversee the security of all the Communes who accept her leadership. As with Princesses and Princes, Queens and Kings can be of either biological sex. All Elven leaders must be reelected every year, and are often chosen on the basis of their good-looks and fashion sense. Their actual power is extremely limited, and most of what they do in modern times involves organizing games and parties. Princesses and Queens wear attire and cosmetics that look very “feminine” to Human eyes while attending to their governmental duties, while Princes and Kings wear more “masculine”-appearing attire.

In mixed communities, Elves will predominate in the fine arts, perfumery, the making of cosmetics, the crafting of luxury goods, silk and lace production, music, mushroom gathering, fine carpentry, and the cultivation of tree crops. Many realms of the ultimate West have special orders for knighthood for Elves sworn to use both sword and spell in defense of the nation. These include the “Order of the Unicorn” in Corthis, the “Order of the Griffin” in the Free March, the “Order of the Golden Stag” in Maeland, and the “Order of the Dragonfly” in Ombratia.