Farms and Ranches of the Uncanny Highway – Part I

Tags

1960s, 1970s, Americana fantasy, ghost story, Gothic America, Groovy Era, Haunted America, haunting, magic realism, Midwest Horror, modern fantasy, paranormal, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Small Town Horror, Southern Gothic, spirits, Urban Fantasy, Urban Legend, Weird America

The Farms and Ranches along the Uncanny Highway range from perfectly ordinary to utterly bizarre. When they aren’t just growing pumpkins, they’re hosting deadly Kung Fu tournaments – or worse!

Table 1a determines whether the Farm appears to focus on growing crops, raising livestock, or both activities. Table 1b defines how the Farm appears to market its produce. Table 2 reveals the truth about the Farm – whether it is a legitimate operation, or used for nefarious activities. Tables 3a to 3g correspond to various geographic regions, and define the legal crop(s), that are apparently being grown. Tables 4a to 4g are similar, but generate the livestock (if any). Table 5 generates any Exotic Animals that might be present, and their purpose.

Part II will include tables for the Farmhouse, inhabitants, barn(s), farm machinery, and odd structures on the property.

Table 1a: Type of Farm or Ranch

d6	The land is apparently dedicated to…
1 – 3	just crops. See Table 3a, 3b, 3c, 3d, 3e, 3f, or 3g, according to region.
4 – 5	just livestock. See Table 4a, 4b, 4c, 4d, 4e, 4f, or 4g, according to region.
6	both crops and livestock. Determine crops by region with Table 3a, 3b, 3c, 3d, 3e, 3f, or 3g; and livestock by regions with Table 4a, 4b, 4c, 4d, 4e, 4f, or 4g.

• Farms on the Uncanny Highway encompass d100 x d4 acres.

Table 1b: Farm or Ranch Market

d6	The produce of the property appears to be primarily sold…
1	directly to consumers via a farm-stand on the roadside. The farm stand will be closed in cold months. If there are dairy cattle, bees, and/or egg-laying chickens, the milk, honey, and/or eggs will also be sold at the stand.
2	on a pick-your-own basis (for crops), or as whole animals (for livestock). A sign on the roadside advertises “Pick-Your-Own…” (and the crops that can be picked), and /or “Live…” (and the animals available). If there are dairy cattle, bees, and/or egg-laying chickens, the milk, honey, and/or eggs will also be sold out of the farmhouse.
3 – 4	directly to a food packer (or store)
5 – 6	to a wholesaler.

• Remember that the growing season in the northern half of the United States is much shorter than in the southern half, except in the case of fruits and vegetables raised in greenhouses.

Table 2 The Truth About a Farm or Ranch

d100	The inhabitant(s) is/are actually…
1 – 40	just making their money from legal farming or ranching!
41 – 50	making most of their money hosting vacationers. Establishment is a “Dude Ranch” if it primarily raises horse and/or cattle., or a “Bed & Breakfast” otherwise. Roll again if the Farm raises pigs, on account of the smell.
51 – 55	making most of their money renting land for concerts, tent revivals, and circuses.
56 – 57	making most of their money renting land for filming locations. 75% chance a film crew is currently on the property. d6: Movie being filmed is… 1 = horror, 2 = sci fi, 3 = romance, 4 = an art house drama, 5 = an experimental art film, 6 = a road-trip film, 7 = a documentary about a local legend, 8 = pornography.
58 – 60	running a religious cult, and the apparent workers on the farm have actually given all their money and possessions to the family.
61 – 65	illegally distilling liquor. There will be a fermentation tank and a still located either in the farmhouse, or the barn.
66 – 70	growing marijuana in a hidden part of the farm (or in a greenhouse).
71 – 72	running a drug lab, making black market pills and methamphetamine.
73 – 75	storing barrels of toxic waste. d4: Those directly exposed to the toxic waste will… 1 = die in one day and rise again as Zombies, 2 = suffer enough damage to kill an ordinary person, 3 = grow an extra appendage in 1d8 days, 4 = collapse into a state that is fluid, but still ambulatory and intelligent. The GM should always allow a Saving Throw, Luck roll, or the equivalent to avoid the hazardous effect.
76 – 80	hosting illegal Martial Arts contests. The next fight will be tonight!
81 – 84	laundering money for the Mob.
85 – 86	holding abducted people for a kidnapping ring. There will be a captive currently imprisoned on the farm.
87	running their own human trafficking ring. There will be 1d6 captives currently imprisoned on the farm.
88	raising human beings for meat. There will be 1d6 captives currently imprisoned on the farm. The meat might be consumed by the family, or sold to the ultra-wealthy.
89	making “snuff” films. The kill room equipped with a camera could be in the farmhouse, in the barn, or even in a bomb shelter.
90	hosting dog fights. There will be 1d6 cages imprisoning dogs trained to fight.
91	hosting cock fights. There will be 1d6 cages holding roosters.
92	hosting C.I.A. mind control experiments. d4: Subjects are… 1 = secretly dosed with LSD, 2 = presented with absurd and improbable situations, 3 = abducted and put into absolute darkness for a week, 4 = selected for their psychic potential and trained to be clairvoyant spies and astral assassins.
93	providing training grounds for right-wing South American death squads sponsored by the C.I.A. Any apparent farm workers are actually death squad members in training.
94	providing training grounds for a private right-wing militia.
95	providing training grounds and a meeting place for Demon Hunters. 50% chance there is a captured supernatural creature on the property.
96	providing a cover for K.G.B. agents operating in America.
97	providing training grounds for terrorists sponsored by the K.G.B. Any apparent farm workers are actually terrorists in training.
98	sheltering a Nazi war criminal, who pays with stolen gold. He will have d100 x d4 pounds of gold remaining. 50% chance he also has a 1d12 pieces of looted art. Besides the gold (and any art), his quarters will hold incriminating pictures, documents, artifacts that establish his identity and guilt beyond any doubt. If captured alive and brought to Federal authorities, he can be traded for a generous reward.
99 – 100	disposing of bodies for the Mob. Corpses are buried on the property, fed to the pigs or alligators, etc.

Table 3a: Crops in the Northeast

Connecticut, Delaware*, Maine, Maryland*, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1 – 2	corn.
3 – 4	pumpkins and squash.
5 – 6	berries.
7 – 8	apples.
9 – 10	asparagus.
11 – 12	tomatoes.
13	cabbages.
14	beans.
15	table grapes.
16	cranberries.
17 – 18	onions.
19	mushrooms. Equal chances mushrooms will be grown on trays inside shacks, or in an abandoned mine tunnel underneath the farm. 25% chance an underground farm connects to subterranean tunnels inhabited by 1d12 cannibalistic mutants who worship ancient powers of the Outer Darkness.
20	sugar maples for syrup.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop
• * Delaware and Maryland can also use Table 3b.

Table 3b: Crops in the South

Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas (east of Dallas), Virginia, and West Virginia.

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1	paddy rice.
2	corn.
3	citrus fruits.
4	tomatoes.
5	asparagus.
6	cabbages.
7	beans.
8	onions.
9	peaches.
10 – 11	peanuts.
12	cotton.
13	soybeans.
14	pecans.
15	table grapes.
16	watermelons.
17	cucumbers.
18	cantaloupes.
19	rye.
20	tobacco.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop.

Table 3c: Crops in the Midwest

Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, and Wisconsin.

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1 – 3	alfalfa.
4 – 7	wheat.
5 – 10	corn.
9 – 13	upland rice (grown on dry land).
14 – 17	soybeans.
18 – 20	oats.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop.

Table 3d: Crops in the Western Prairie and Rocky Mountains

Colorado, Idaho, Kansas, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oregon east of the Cascades, South Dakota, Washington (east of the Cascades), and Wyoming.

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1 – 2	alfalfa.
3 – 4	winter wheat.
5 – 6	barley.
7 – 8	corn.
9 – 10	oats.
11 – 12	potatoes.
13	tomatoes.
14 – 15	cabbages.
16	beans.
17	hay.
18 – 19	sunflowers.
12	peas.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop.

Table 3e: Crops in the Southwest

Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas (west of Dallas), and Utah

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1 – 3	beans.
4 – 6	figs.
7 – 9	corn.
10 – 12	cabbages.
13 – 14	pumpkins.
15 – 16	watermelons.
17 – 18	onions.
19 – 20	lettuce.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop.

Table 3f: Crops in Southern and Central California

California south of Redding.

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1	citrus fruits.
2	wine grapes. 75% chance the farm produces its own wine. A winery will have a crushing or press room, a room of primary fermentation tanks, and a barrel room. A winery that sells directly to the public will also have a bottling room. These spaces may be separate buildings, or housed in one structure. They are in addition to any other structures on the property.
3	table grapes.
4	avocados.
5	asparagus.
6	walnuts.
7	lettuce.
8	almonds.
9	figs.
10	artichokes.
11	lettuce.
12	plums.
13	broccoli.
14	strawberries.
15	pistachios.
16	olives.
17	tomatoes.
18	cucumbers.
19	carrots.
20	medicinal herbs. 25% chance the family practices some form of traditional witchcraft.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop..

Table 3g: Crops in the Pacific Northwest / Northern California

California north of Redding

Oregon in the Cascades, and west of the Cascades

Washington in the Cascades, and west of the Cascades

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	There is a field of…
1 – 2	hops.
3 – 4	berries.
5 – 6	apples.
7	pears.
8 – 9	onions.
10 – 11	cherries.
12 – 13	mint.
14 – 15	hazlenuts.
16 – 17	walnuts.
18	wine grapes. 75% chance the farm produces its own wine. A winery will have a crushing or press room, a room of primary fermentation tanks, and a barrel room. A winery that sells directly to the public will also have a bottling room. These spaces may be separate buildings, or housed in one structure. They are in addition to any other structures on the property.
19	sunflowers.
20	medicinal herbs. 25% chance the family practices some form of traditional witchcraft.

• Repeated results indicates multiple fields devoted to different varieties of the indicated crop.

Table 4a: Livestock in the Northeast

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 2	ducks. There will be a duck pond and duck shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
3 – 4	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
5 – 6	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
7 – 8	horses. There will be a stable and fenced-in paddock on the property, in addition to any other structures.
9 – 10	rabbits. There will be a rabbit hutch on the property, in addition to any other structures.
11 – 12	exotic animals. There will be a fenced-in enclosure and/or cages on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 4b: Livestock in the South

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 3	pigs. There will be a pig pen and mud wallow on the property, in addition to any other structures.50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
4	alligators for meat and leather. There will be a fenced-in pond on the property, in addition to any other structures.50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
5	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
6	chickens for slaughter. There will be a chicken coop on the property, in addition to any other structures.50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
7	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
8	cattle for slaughter. There will be a cowshed and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
9	honeybees. There will be d100 x d4 hives on the property, in addition to any other structures. 10% chance the hives are now filled with Killer Bees!
10	horses. There will be a stable and fenced-in paddock on the property, in addition to any other structures.
11	hunting dogs (hounds, retrievers, pointers, spaniels, etc.). There will be a kennel on the property, in addition to any other structures.
12	exotic animals. Determine animals with Table 5: Exotic Animals on a Farm or Ranch. There will be a fenced-in corral and/or cages on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 4c: Livestock in the Midwest

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 2	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn on the property, in addition to any other structures.
3 – 4	pigs. There will be a pig pen and mud wallow on the property, in addition to any other structures. 50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
5 – 6	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
7 – 8	cattle for slaughter. There will be a cowshed and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures. 50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
9 – 10	horses. There will be a stable and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
11 – 12	dogs for pets. There will be a kennel on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 4d: Livestock in the Western Prairie and Rocky Mountains

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 3	cattle for slaughter. There will be a cowshed and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures. 50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
4	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
5	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
6 – 7	honeybees. There will be d100 x d4 hives on the property, in addition to any other structures.
8 – 9	horses. There will be a stable and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
10	buffalo. There will be a cowshed and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures. 50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
11	sheep. There will be a sheep shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
12	exotic animals. Determine animals with Table 5: Exotic Animals on a Farm or Ranch. There will be a fenced-in corral and/or cages on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 4e: Livestock in the Southwest

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 2	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
3 – 4	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
5 – 6	cattle for slaughter. There will be a cowshed and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures. 50% chance of a slaughterhouse also being present.
7 – 8	horses. There will be a stable and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
9 – 10	sheep. There will be a sheep shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
11 – 12	exotic animals. Determine animals with Table 5: Exotic Animals on a Farm or Ranch. There will be a fenced-in enclosure and/or cages on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 4f: Livestock in Southern and Central California

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 3	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
4	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
5 – 6	honeybees. There will be d100 x d4 hives on the property, in addition to any other structures. 10% chance the hives are now filled with Killer Bees!
7	horses. There will be a stable and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
9	goats. There will be a goat shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
10 – 11	sheep. There will be a sheep shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
12	exotic animals. Determine animals with Table 5: Exotic Animals on a Farm or Ranch. There will be a fenced-in enclosure and/or cages on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 4g: Livestock in the Pacific Northwest / Northern California

California north of Redding, Oregon (in the Cascades and west of the Cascades), and Washington (in the Cascades and west of the Cascades).

d12. Roll 1d4 times.	The livestock are…
1 – 2	dairy cattle. There will be a dedicated milk barn and fenced-in corral on the property, in addition to any other structures.
3 – 4	goats. There will be a goat shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
5 – 6	sheep. There will be a sheep shed on the property, in addition to any other structures.
7 – 8	egg-laying chickens. There will be a henhouse on the property, in addition to any other structures.
9 – 12	exotic animals. Determine animals with Table 5: Exotic Animals on a Farm or Ranch. There will be a fenced-in enclosure and/or cages on the property, in addition to any other structures.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.

Table 5: Exotic Animals on a Farm or Ranch

d20. Roll 1d6 times.	The exotic animals being raised include…
1	elk…
2	ostriches…
3	giraffes…
4	lions…
5	tigers…
6	mountain lions…
7	jaguars…
8	leopards…
9	peacocks…
10	zebras…
11	chimpanzees…
12	orangutans…
13	brown bears…
14	bighorn sheep…
15	wild boar…
16	antelopes…
17	gazelles…
18	monkeys…
19	crocodiles…
20	wolves…

d6	…for the purpose of…
1	pure enjoyment.
2	running a private zoo. 75% chance admission will be charged to see the animal(s). If so, it will be advertised with a sign on the Highway.
3	running “canned hunts”. There will another fenced in area on the property where the “hunts” occur. 10% chance the farm also stages fight between the animals and abducted people, for the amusement of wealthy clients.
4	raising exotic meat for wealthy gourmets. 75% chance of a slaughterhouse being present on the property, in addition to any other structures.
5	scientific research. There will be a researcher attending to the animals during the day. d6: Researcher is… 1 = from the nearest college, 2 = from the Defense Department, 3 = from a completely secret branch of the federal Government, 4 = an agent of a foreign government, 5 = working for a wealthy eccentric, 6 = an Extraterrestrial in disguise.
6	keeping people away from something buried in their enclosure. d6: The hidden thing is…1 = the bodies of the property’s former owners, 2 = buried treasure, 3 = buried toxic waste, 4 = extraterrestrial corpses, 5 = the trapdoor to a serial killer’s murder room, 6 = the buried gateway to Hell.

• Repeated results indicates multiple breeds of the indicated animal.