Roadside Houses on the Uncanny Highway

Tags

1960s, 1970s, American Horror, American Legend, Americana, Americana fantasy, Gothic America, magic realism, Midwest Horror, Motor Horror, Prairie Horror, psychotronic, Road Crawl, Road Encounter, Road Trip, Roadtrip, Seventies, Sixties, Southern Gothic, Weird America

If you get into trouble on the Uncanny Highway, you might be tempted to seek shelter in one of the numerous house standing on the roadside. Perhaps, you will find a seemingly normal family, who will give you a cup of coffee, and let you use the phone. Or maybe, you were better off taking your chances outside…

Table 1: House Style

-1 to the roll in Southern California & the Desert Southwest, +1 in the Northeast.

d10	The architectural style is…
1 or below	Mission Revival / Adobe. (1 or 2 floors)
2	Ranch. (1 floor)
3	Craftsman / California Bungalow. (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun House (in the South, 1 floor).
4	Rural Gothic. (2 or 3 floors)
5	Greek Revival. (2 or 3 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is white. In the South, this a former plantation house.
6	Modernist. (1 – 3 floors)
7	Tudor Revival. (2 or 3 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is brown and white.
8	Queen Anne. (2 – 4 floors)
9	Colonial Revival. (2 or 3 floors)
10	Dutch Colonial (2 or 3 floors) or Shotgun House (in the South, 1 floor).
11+	Federal. (2 – 4 floors). Do not roll on Table 2. House is either red brick, or whitewashed brick.

Table 2: House Color

d12	The house is painted predominantly…
1 – 2	white
3 – 4	brown
5	light blue
6	gray
7	dark blue
8	gray-green
9	green
10	yellow
11	red
12	pink

Table 3: Overall Condition of the House

d6	The condition of the house is…
1	dilapidated. If still inhabited, there are some boarded-up windows.
2 – 3	not good, but it is obviously still inhabitable.
4 – 5	average.
6	excellent.

Table 3: The Attached Property

d6	The surrounding property is…
1	small and overgrown
2	small, and apparently kept up.
3	moderate, and overgrown.
4	moderate, and apparently kept up.
5	large and overgrown.
6	large, and apparently kept up.

Table 4: Notable Features of the House and Property

d100, twice.	There is/are…
1 – 4	a tool shed.
5 – 8	a separate garage.
9 – 16	a fence / wall around the property. d6. 1=picket fence, 2=iron fence with gates, 3–4 =chain link fence, 5=brick wall, 6=privacy hedges. Two different fences are possible.
17 – 21	a pool.
22 – 24	a flower garden.
25 –30	a doghouse.
31 – 32	an underground bomb shelter.
33 – 34	pink flamingo figures in front.
35 – 36	a lawn jockey figure.
37 – 40	a strangely-shaped tree in front.
41 – 42	a religious statue in front.
43 – 44	a free-standing basketball hoop.
45 – 48	a birdbath.
49 – 50	stone architectural elements from demolished buildings scattered in front on the building.
51 – 52	Christmas decorations obviously left up all year.
53 – 56	unusual art made from trash (bottles, hubcaps, bicycle parts, etc.)
57 – 60	topiary bushes in front..
61 – 64	concrete statues in front.
65 – 68	playground equipment in front (slide, merry-go-round, monkey-bars, etc.)
69 – 72	stained glass windows.
73 – 76	a wheel-less car on cinder blocks in front.
77 – 80	a couch on the front lawn.
81 – 84	numerous signs.
85 – 88	store manikins standing in front.
89 – 92	a standing tent.
93 – 95	1d12 graves (with markers).
96 – 100	a radio tower. The House is a radio station. Roll on Table 5 only to determine previous use for the House.

Table 5: House Inhabitants

d100	The house is now…
1 – 25	just the residence of an ordinary married couple with 1d4 children, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
25 – 35	abandoned. (50% likely to be haunted. 25% likely to be the lair of a local Strange Animal or Creature. House could be both haunted and the lair of a Creature.)
36 – 40	abandoned, but used by local satanists, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
41 – 43	a Bed & Breakfast establishment, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
44 – 46	being used to shoot a movie, (d6. 1=Horror, 2=Sci Fi, 3=Romance, 4=Art House Drama, 5=Experimental Art Film, 6=Road-trip Movie, 7=Documentary about a local legend, 8=Pornography.)
47 – 48	a private hospital, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
49 – 50	a Mob hospital, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
51 – 53	an asylum for the criminally insane, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
54 – 56	home to a clan of inbred cannibals, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
57 – 59	a secret hideout for Extraterrestrials,
60	a Vampire’s lair, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the Vampire’s victims.)
61	a colony of 1d10 Werewolves, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the Werewolves’ victims.)
62 – 64	an artist’s colony, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
65	a monastery, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
66	a convent, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
67 – 71	a brothel, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
72 – 73	an ashram, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
74 – 76	home to a Psychic, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
77	the meeting house of a secret society, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
78	the clubhouse of a local fraternal order, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
79 – 81	a biker clubhouse, (There will be d20+1 motorcycles on the property, both in and out of any garage. 10% likely to also be haunted.)
82	a way station for human trafficking, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
83 – 84	a way station for the drug trade, (50% likely to currently contain 1d100 kilos of drugs, with a courier and/ or guard. 25% likely to also be haunted.)
85 – 86	used by addicts to take drugs, (50% likely to also be haunted.)
87 – 89	a funeral parlor, (75% likely to also be haunted.)
90	a safehouse, (For the CIA, KGB, FBI, a domestic terrorist cell, etc. 5% likely to also be haunted.)
91 – 92	a hippie commune, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
93 – 94	a Jesus Freak commune, (15% likely to also be haunted.)
95 – 96	a Swinger’s Club, (25% likely to also be haunted.)
97 – 98	a taxidermist’s place of business, (50% likely to also be haunted by the ghosts of the animals.)
99	much larger on the inside than it appears on the outside, (House is haunted by multiple ghosts and spirits, and/or home to a powerful Magician.)
100	a gateway to Hell, (You’ve got worse problems than a haunting!)

d4	…but in recent history was…
1 – 2	used for the same purpose
3 – 4	used for another purpose entirely. (Roll again on Table 5. If the result indicates “just the residence of an ordinary family”, it mean the current family just moved in.)

Table 6: Cars on the Property

d20, 1d4 times	Parked on the property is a…
1	pickup truck,
2	delivery truck,
3	station wagon,
4	coupé utility vehicle.
5	two-door coupe,
6	convertible coupe,
7	four-door sedan,
8	sports car,
9	muscle car,
10	hot rod.
11	semi truck.
12	compact car
13	motorcycle,
14	customized “chopper” motorcycle,
15	moped,
16	van,
17	luxury car,
18	off-road vehicle,
19	hearse.
20	Cop Car. Skip next sub-table, and proceed to the one after.

d20	…painted…
1 – 2	black…
3 – 4	white…
5 – 6	dark blue…
7 – 8	metallic gray…
9	cherry red…
10	burgundy…
11	brown…
12	sky blue…
13	blue-green…
14	bright yellow…
15	mustard yellow…
16	orange…
17	forest green…
18	lime green…
19	pink…
20	purple…

d6	…and which is…
1	rusting up on cinder blocks.
2	wrecked.
3	in barely usable condition.
4 – 5	in serviceable condition.
6	obviously well-taken care of.

Note: These cars are in addition to any on the property on account of its current use – for example, the motorcycles of a biker gang.