Roadside Churches of the Uncanny Highway

Tags

1960s, 1970s, American Fantasy, Gothic America, Haunted America, Highway Horror, magic realism, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Crawl, Road Trip, Roadcrawl, Roadtrip, Rural Gothic, Seventies, Sixties, Southern Gothic, Weird America

It is easy to have faith in a supernatural power when one lives on the Uncanny Highway. Just being there is proof of a place ignored by the ordinary world. Nonetheless, the traveler cannot always assume that a house of God on the side of the road remains devoted to a holy cause.

Table 1: Size of a Church

d6	The Church is…
1 – 2	just a chapel. Seats up to 50.
3 – 4	small. Seats up to 100.
5	moderately sized. Seats up to 250.
6	relatively Large. Seats up to 500.

Table 2: Architectural Style of a Church

d10	In style, the church is…
1	Gothic
2	Romanesque stone.
3	Romanesque brick.
4	clapboard, without a steeple
5 – 6	clapboard with a steeple.
7	Neoclassical.
8	actually a repurposed storefront.
9	actually a repurposed house. Use the tables in HOUSES to determine the characteristics of the house and property.
10	Modernist.

Table 3: Apparent Denomination of a Church

d20	The congregation appears to be…
1 – 2	Roman Catholic.
3	Orthodox.
4	Episcopalian.
5	Lutheran.
6	Methodist.
7	Presbyterian.
8	Baptist.
9	Quaker.
10	Pentecostal.
11	Moravian.
12	Congregationalist.
13	Mormon (if west of the Mississippi River) or Mennonite (if east of the Mississippi River).
14	Plymouth Brethren.
15	Seventh-day Adventist.
16	Salvation Army.
17	African Methodist Episcopal Church. (Historically Black)
18	Church of God in Christ. (Historically Black)
19	Unitarian.
20	Unusual Christian. Differs by region. Northeast: an ethnic church with services in a language other than English. Midwest: Amish. South: snake handlers. Southwest: the Native American Church. Western Prairie and Rocky Mountains: Fundamentalist Mormon (polygamous sect). California / Pacific Northwest: counter-cultural “Jesus Freaks”.

Table 4: Writing on a Church Message Board

d12	Written on the message board are…
1	just the times of services.
2	the times of services, and a welcome to a new pastor / priest.
3	the times of services, and an exhortation to read a particular Bible verse.
4	the times of services, and a reminder to tithe (or give generously).
5	the times of services, and a holiday greeting.
6	the times of services, and some words of general encouragement.
7	the times of services, and condolences to a local family.
8	the times of services, and an anti-communist message.
9	the times of services, and condemnation of a local politician.
10	the times of services, and an advertisement for a local business.
11	the times of services, and a prophesy of doom.
12	just cryptic words apparently prophesying doom.

Table 5: Condition of a Church Exterior.

d10	The exterior of the Church building…
1	is in pristine condition, and looks recently built.
2 –5	is basically well-maintained.
6	is overgrown with vines and weeds.
7	has extensive weather damage.
8	has 1d6 broken windows. 50% chance windows are boarded-up.
9	has obscene graffiti on it.
10	appears to have been damaged by fire.

Table 6: The Church Grounds.

d12	The grounds of this Church…
1	are open, and overgrown.
2	are open, and apparently well-maintained.
3	are open and overgrown, with the broken and weathered headstones of 1d20 graves.
4	are enclosed in an iron fence, and feature 1d20 graves, with headstones in surprisingly good condition.
5	are enclosed in an iron fence, and feature 1d20 overgrown graves, with broken headstones.
6	are an overgrown field enclosed by a ruined stone  wall.
7	are an overgrown field enclosed by a broken picket fence.
8	are an overgrown field enclosed by a rusty chain link fence.
9	are an overgrown field enclosed by a split-rail fence.
10	appear kept up, and are enclosed by a stone wall.
11	appear kept up, and are enclosed by a picket fence.
12	appear kept up, and are enclosed by a chain-link fence.

Table 7: The Actual Use of a Church

d100	The Church is currently used…
1 – 25	by an active and vital congregation.
26 – 50	by a small and dwindling congregation.
51 – 52	as a drug lab.
53 – 54	as the hideout of a serial killer.
55 – 56	as a refuge by runaways.
57 – 58	as the lair of a Werewolf pack.
59 – 60	only at night, by a congregation of Ghosts.
61 – 62	as the clubhouse of a Biker gang.
63 – 64	as the prison of a minor Demon, and so is locked and chained shut.
65 – 66	by a congregation of disguised Extraterrestrials.
67 – 68	by the followers of a charismatic Guru, who have just purchased it.
69 – 70	by Satanists, who have desecrated the interior.
71 – 72	by a group of squatting Hippies, who will welcome visitors with open arms.
73 – 74	to corral d100 Zombies the Army has been experimenting with. The doors are locked, and there are actually 2d4 soldiers and a Scientist stationed the basement.
75	as the lair of a Vampire, and the interior has been completely desecrated.
76 – 100	by no one – it is completely abandoned.